Why shouldn’t men date younger women?

Toyboys are back, apparently. Over the past few months there has been a flurry of middle-aged women crowing about the joy of dating younger men. One author in her mid-forties extolled the virtues of having not one but three lovers half her age. In a piece explaining that ‘younger men are having a cultural moment’, a thirty-something writer described a first date apologising for his scruffy appearance because he’d ‘cycled straight from school’.

These women claim it’s liberating, empowering, confidence-boosting and a lot of fun, and even brag about younger men being far better in bed than their older counterparts. And presumably all of this works both ways – so why are we less understanding when men choose younger partners?

Leonardo DiCaprio has split with model Camila Morrone after five years together. When the news became public this week, social media commentators were quick to point out that Morrone turned 25 in June – and this seems to be 47-year-old Leo's age cut-off. There is a pattern going back to 1999 that shows his girlfriends get the shove as soon as they approach their quarter-century. Trust me, someone even made a graph.

In response to his apparent preference for younger women, the actor been labelled predatory and his behaviour described as ‘genuinely disturbing’. I’ll admit, the first reaction I had upon news of his break-up was: seriously? But soon I realised that I probably wouldn’t respond in this way if it were a woman with a similarly young partner.

Of course there’s something a bit odd about it all. But that’s because personally I couldn’t imagine being romantic with someone who can’t hire a car or easily pass the ‘Challenge 25’ test to buy alcohol. I also question what these people with big age gaps talk about. In Leo’s case, his ex-girlfriend was born in the year he was making his name in Titanic.

But the cries that Leo’s girlfriends are being taken advantage of are patronising. These women are far from stupid. Take Bar Refaeli, an Israeli model, actress and businesswoman. Not only is she drop-dead gorgeous, she’s also absolutely loaded. Leo dated her from when she was 18 up to the dreaded 25, and three years after their break-up Forbes claimed she was the highest-paid model in Israel. I’m not saying these women don’t make it in their own right, but the exposure of being linked with Leo is hardly going to hurt. There is an element of transaction here: Leo gets to date a model and they get their names out there. And, you know, they get to date Leonardo DiCaprio.

Amid the toyboy renaissance there needs to be a rethink of how we view age-gap relationships – and we need to admit as a society that we take less of an issue with them when it’s the woman who’s older. While older women dating younger men are seen as liberated, older men with younger girlfriends are just creeps. Madonna’s three-year relationship with choreographer Ahlamalik Williams, who was 35 years her junior, hardly caused anyone to bat an eyelid, never mind accuse her of being a predator. Cheryl Cole and Liam Payne, who have a son together, have ten years between them and first met when Payne was 14 before starting a relationship eight years later. Tatler has dubbed Sienna Miller (40) and Oli Green (25) as ‘the It couple of the moment’, while Joan Collins and Percy Gibson, who have 32 years between them, celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary this year.

There may also be a scientific explanation for Leo’s behaviour. Research has shown that men take longer to ‘act their age’ because the female brain establishes connections and 'prunes' itself faster than the male brain. Now I haven’t conducted any scientific research of my own, but I once dated a man eight years older than me who couldn’t work the washing machine. This maturity gap may be a factor in Leo’s relationship choices since he isn’t exactly known for his grown-up conduct. He spent much of the 1990s causing chaos with his ‘Wolf Pack’, a group of young men which allegedly included stars such as David Blaine, Tobey Maguire, Jay Ferguson, Josh Miller, Ethan Suplee and Scott Bloom. Leo would take his posse out partying all over New York City, where they chased women, pulled pranks and played tricks on the paparazzi. So is it really surprising that now, in his late forties, he is still choosing to fool around and date younger models?

I think everybody needs to cut Leo a bit of slack, and stop assuming his girlfriends can’t make up their own minds about him – these switched-on women are hardly being held against their will. If they are being binned in their mid-twenties, at least they racked up a few years of exposure – and got to date Leonardo DiCaprio. Anyway, I should get a move on – Leo is newly single and I have nine months left until I hit the dreaded 25.